Friday, 15 April 2016 04:36

Rejuvenate Your Relationship - Pt. 1

Part 1 of Chelimo's tips for rejuvenating your relationship.

The sweet little things

There is a proverb in Burundi that says, ’Where there is love there is no darkness’. Learn to love each other, even when things get tough or boring. Re-visit the old memories of when you were young and so happy in love, admit if you are in the wrong and ask for forgiveness, learn to forgive. Don’t keep grudges, always remind yourself of his or her good intentions and do things that ignite your love. Love "is not selfish, is not provoked, and does not keep a record of wrongs" (1 Corinthians 13:5).

We’ve got this

Once you get married, you are creating a whole new family one that you will always love, protect and put first in everything you do. You stop making sentences starting with I and you and begin using we and us. The decisions you make from there on should be made together, your parents, siblings and other relatives are a second priority. According to the University of Minnesota researcher David Olson, ‘81 percent of happy couples said their partners’ friends and family rarely interfered with the relationship, compared to just 38 percent of unhappy couples’.

The truth and nothing but the truth

Telling the truth is very important for any relationship or marriage to succeed. If your partner told you something some time back only to find out that they weren’t telling the truth, however much they convince you they are being honest this time round, it will be hard to believe them.

Once you set a foundation with honesty, trust is rest assured. Your partner will always take you for your word and no need to think hard on the hidden motives behind everything you say or do. This generation is so full of technology and free access to all sorts of social media interaction platforms, like facebook, instagram, whatsapp. Most people are drawn to these sites including myself. However, can you disclose your passwords to your spouse? Can you or your partner resist going through each other’s inbox, facebook page, emails without permission? If yes then that is a clear sign of trust.

Get your groove on

Once people get married, some resign from pursuing personal interests. You should always create sometime for yourself, time to relax and not worry about the house, kids or what’s for dinner. Go and do fun things like, hanging out with friends, or going on a walk. Talk about it with your spouse, for those with children you can make an arrangement for babysitting. This helps relieve the stresses of everyday life and gives you a clear mind and a feeling of freshness.

Say it all

If you are upset about something, talk about it with your partner. Sometimes you might be too upset to talk about what is bothering you, do something to calm yourself down and talk about it later with a clear mind. Ignoring issues in your marriage may sound like a good way of let it go but it never really goes away and your marriage is affected. If your partner is poor at communicating, find ways to solve the problem together. Read books, listen to audios about communication in marriage, be patient with him or her and don’t give up.

Thinking about renewing yourself and your relationship? What's your plan? Send me a tweet: @ChelimoG


Adrin Gelvin

I am a Ugandan (proudly from Kapchorwa), now living at my second home in Fort collins, Colorado. I am a married stay-at-home mom, raising our 10-month-old son, and pursuing my dreams of fashion design. I am a social worker by profession. I enjoy listening to music, reading and writing in my free time.


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